Wanting, and how to read a book
A few days ago, Tomek Karwatka, my boss from one of the previous companies and simply a great person - recommended a book on Twitter.
Its title is Wanting, by Luke Burgis.
Tomek is a person whose recommendations are excellent. Thanks to him, I discovered Inspired and Radical Candor years before these became popular in my living area. These recommendations led me to Empowered, Just Work and more.
My bet is… in 1 year from now, everyone will be reading Wanting. So I want to read it today.
Technique for reading a book
In the past, I heard about reading the book’s Table of Contents first. Then, based on ToC listing down the questions that pop up in your head.
I have never tried it.
But it seems like a good technique for things that I struggle with a lot: getting distracted and finding it hard to follow the plot.
Let’s try it today.
I will start reading Wanting. But first, let’s list down the questions.
Exercise on Wanting
The following items from the book’s Table of Contents are in the headers below. In bullet points are the questions I came up with based on the chapter’s title.
- - - Prologue: Unexpected Relief
Who wrote a prologue? Probably someone famous?
- - - Introduction: Social Gravity
What is a Social Gravity?
Is it about dynamics between individuals and groups? Like in physics class when we calculated gravity between 2 planets using Newton's law of universal gravitation?
How am I being influenced by others, and how do I influence others?
Is the gravity between individuals different from that between groups?
- - - Part I: The Power of Mimetic Desire
Hidden Models-Romantic Lies, Infant Truth
What does the English word Mimetic mean?
How do we define Desire?
Did Lucifer from the Netflix show know about it?
How am I being influenced by social media?
How do I differentiate a lie from the truth when listening to a monologue in my head?
Is it something related to biases from Kahneman’s book?
Secrets Babies Keep
Is the mimetic mechanism different for kids and adults?
How do the learning strategies change when we get older?
The Martini Is a Gateway Drug
Is alcohol influencing my way of memetic other behaviours?
Torches of Freedom
Are there tactics for recognising when I am driven by mimetic desire? Is it different from recognising biases?
Mimetic Games
What mimetic games do I know from school or kindergarten that I could leverage at work?
Models That Move Markets
Is it about the segmentation of desires or different approaches for mimetics?
What are the groups? What are the models?
Maybe it is about people who become Role Models?
Distorted Reality-We're All Freshmen Again
Will I need to learn to live in a new world after knowing the Mimetic Desire concept?
What may change in my perspective of seeing the world, other people and myself?
Two Kinds of Models
Kinds of Models are not the Models. I am wondering what might be models within’ each kind.
Are the following 2 chapters about these 2 kinds?
Celebristan
What does Celebristan mean?
Freshmanistan
If Celebristan were about mimetic celebrities, then Freshamistan would be about mimetic someone I know nothing about?
Distortion 1: The Misappropriation of Wonder
What is Distortion?
What is a Wonder in this context?
Distortion 2: The Cult of Experts
Is it about a topic that drives me crazy? People who write articles or do conference speeches are considered experts. In fact, more experienced experts may have no time to do that. Is it about it? Is someone more experienced just because they state opinions publicly?
Distortion 3: Reflexivity
Is it about mapping everything to the first principles?
Social Mediation
If meditation is about clearing our mind, then is Social Meditation about removing the influence between people?
But can we remove the influence without removing the people?
Social Contagion-Cycles of Desire
What are the stages of the cycle?
Am I being negatively influenced in some cycles? Maybe there are some phases that I use smarter once I learn about them.
Lamborghini versus Ferrari
Is Ferrari red?
Is it about us being driven by fashion and manipulated by luxury?
Memes and Mimetic Theory
How am I being influenced by memes with cats?
The Flywheel Effect
What are the objects and stages in a flywheel?
The Creative Cycle
Is it when I watch some beautiful art on Instagram that inspires me?
The Destructive Cycle
Is it when I watch someone more handsome than me on Instagram?
Hierarchical Values
What would the fans of Holacracy say about it?
What are the levels of hierarchy?
Am I mimetic of the values of the other people?
The Collapse of Desire
What are the alternatives to being driven by desire? What else can drive my actions and thoughts?
The Invention of Blame-An Underrated Social Discovery
What does Blame-An mean?
What is a Social Discovery?
Why is it underrated?
Sacred Violence
Are the people violent because of their hidden desires?
The Danger of Purity
What would a Ruby Engineer think about it?
Saving People from Themselves
Is it about raising awareness of the mimetic desire concept? is it about saving myself or others?
The Path of Least Resistance
Are there some quick wins that I can apply today?
The Dancing Mania of 1518
What happened in the 1518 year? Or at 15:18 hour?
Will there be a metaphor about Flashdance - She Is a Maniac?
Safety in Judgment
Where are the boundaries of judging behaviours?
How not to hurt feelings for no reason?
What and whom do I judge?
Who judges me?
Am I being hurt by someone’s judgement?
The Joy of Hate Watching
Is it a Joy of Hate watching me? Or do I enjoy the Hate Watching?
What is Hate Watching?
Do I enjoy hating something or someone?
The Scapegoat Wins
What is Scapegoat? Some special goat?
Self-Awareness, Self-Hatred
Self-awareness of my mimetic behaviours can probably help me. But does self-hatred mean?
Signs of Contradiction
Is it about the conflicts in my head or between me and others?
- - - Part II The Transformation of Desire
Anti-Mimetic-Feeding the People, Not the System
What can be transformed into Desire?
What can I transform a Desire into?
Moving Goalposts
What is a Goalpost?
Mimetic Systems
How many different systems are there? Is it again about segmentation or groups?
Will the concept of stocks and flows from systems thinking be helpful here?
Being Watched and Rated
Is it what’s killing my self-confidence?
Whom am I watching and mimicking?
Whom am I rating and mimicking?
The Tra-La-La and the Chichi
Is it about Chichi, who is the wife of Goku in Dragon Ball?
The One Less Traveled By
Is it about every single profile on Instagram that we unfollow influencing what we mimic?
Modeling a New Mindset
What a New Mindset sees and believes that the Old Mindset doesn’t?
What can I improve or lose when I change into the New Mindset?
Disruptive Empathy- Breaking Through Thin Desires
How do Empathy and Desire interact?
Do empathy types (Cognitive, Emotional and Compassionate) act differently in that context?
The Problem with Sympathy
What’s the exact definition of Sympathy?
Thick Desires
What thick and thin desires do I have?
Shaking the Dust
Is it the dust that’s still on me after moving to the New Mindset?
Fulfillment Stories
How does listening to the successes of other people influence me?
Motivational Patterns
Is it about watching motivational videos on YouTube and listening to motivational speeches?
Can watching other people do both: motivate and demotivate me?
Transcendent Leadership-How Great Leaders Inspire and Shape Desire
Do I mimic the behaviours of my boss?
Do my direct reports mimic my behaviours?
Immanent Desire
Do we all desire the same single thing?
Is there a universal desire?
Maybe this is about my real desire? Not influenced by others? The one which is valid for me? Does it even exist?
Transcendent Desire
Is it about the other people's desires that I desire just because they desire them?
What is really true for me?
Skill 1: Shift Gravity
Is shifting about changing the direction? Or also about changing the object that I am affected by?
Skill 2: The Speed of Truth
Is truth faster than a lie?
Skill 3: Discernment
Is it similar to Curiosity?
Skill 4: Sit Quietly in a Room
Can observing my thoughts help me answer when and what I am mimicking?
Are there different mechanisms for social and not-so-social people? Or introverts and extroverts?
Skill 5: Filter Feedback
Is there some technique for differentiating the feedback I should accept from the one I should reject?
The Mimetic Future-What We Will Want Tomorrow
Was the mimetic mechanism different thousands of years ago?
Cultural Quicksand
What person would I be if I were born in a different city or different country?
Instruments versus Relationships
What does Instrument mean in that context?
Engineering Desire
Can I plan my desires?
Transforming Desire
Can I execute better after understanding my desires?
Pivotal Spaces
When is the best moment to transform a desire?
Which desires are easier to transform than others?
Is it about pivoting or about the evolution of desire?
The Three Inventions
What are these inventions?
Single Greatest Desire
Finally, the one that will make my life better. What is it?